Yu Yu Hakaloogie
by QT Bookai
Summary: PG 13 just to be safe. This is just something funny we came up with. It's just some messups the peoples took out of yyh, and some behind the scenes things that nobody ever knew about. What? Kurama has a smoking problem? Yusuke is a wimp? Well, find
1. chapter one, ba ba baaaaaaa

Gag reel of yyh  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own yu yu hakusho, it belongs to someone else, but one day!!! Mwahahahahahaha!!!!  
  
Bookai- This is just something funny that me and my friends wrote one day. Tokay and Sanmuze belong to me so if anyone wants to use them as characters, they'll have to email me first. Well, this is basically about me and my tow friends, Tokay and Samuze, at a shooting of yyh episodes.  
  
The death of Genkai  
  
Toguro- For a long time, the only one I thought about was you, Genkai  
  
Genkai- My hero! *starts making out w/Toguro*  
  
Director- CUT!!! Please, Genkai, read your lines  
  
Genkai- Fine, but I won't be happy about it  
  
Director- Action!  
  
Toguro- For a long time, the only one I thought about was you, Genkai  
  
Genkai- *starts laughing* what a loser!!!  
  
Director- CUT!!!!  
  
Tokay- Hey, she's a good actor  
  
Bookai- Yeah, she laughed at Toguro!  
  
Samuze- Let's all point and laugh at Toguro!  
  
Tokay, Samuze, & Bookai- *point and laugh @ Toguro*  
  
Toguro- I can't take this! *tears roll down face* I will be in my trailor! *starts to bawl, and runs away*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The three eyes of Hiei  
  
Hiei- Don't worry, he likes you well enough! *cuts off Keiko's head* oops.... sorry!  
  
Director- AAAAA You killed the original Keiko!!  
  
Hiei- I didn't do it!! *throws bloody sword*  
  
Kurama- We have it on camera, Hiei  
  
Hiei- *stares at camera, camera explodes* muahahaha!  
  
Director- oh no, you broke my camera! Now how am I supposed to film the rest?!  
  
Tokay- I can replace Keiko  
  
Director- You three shut up!  
  
Samuze- That's nice to say to the VIPs  
  
Director- I'm trying to concentrate, so shut up!  
  
Bookai- Never!!!! muahahahaha!!!  
  
T, S, & B- *start laughing loudly and madly*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The gate of betrayal  
  
Yusuke- You're a lot faster than any of us, you hurry and run to... uh.... line?  
  
Hiei- You're supposed to tell me to flip the switch!!  
  
Kurama- I need a smoke  
  
Director- CUT!! Let's try this again!! ACTION!!!  
  
Yusuke- *says his line*  
  
Kurama- Hello?! I still haven't got my smoke break!!  
  
Director- CUT!!  
(few hours later)  
  
Hiei- *runs to switch and stalls*  
  
Bat- There is no need to make quick judgments, my frie-  
  
Hiei- *slaughters bat*  
  
Director- Hiei!!!! YOU DON'T KILL IT YET!!!  
  
Hiei- Oh..... yeah.....  
  
Director- That's the fifth robot you have broken!!  
  
Hiei- hn....  
  
Tokay- Look, he tried, so stop yelling at him!  
  
Director- How many times do I have to tell you to shut up?!  
  
Bookai- Five million, and counting  
  
Director- Just be quiet for the rest of the scene.  
  
Samuze- Okay, but you have to give us a cookie!  
  
Director- Fine!  
  
(two hours later)  
  
Bat- Good choice, you would have been crushed anyway  
  
Hiei- *stares*  
  
Bat- Uh.....  
  
Hiei- *picks nose while staring*  
  
Kurama- Hurry and kill the damn bat so I can get a smoke break!!!!  
  
Hiei- Oh.... *kills bat*  
  
Director- CUT!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Byakko, the white tiger  
  
Kuwabara- I call it the monster beast doughnut!  
  
Hiei- WHERE?! *looks around*  
  
Kurama- *smacks Hiei* Stop messing up!!  
  
Director- CUT!!  
  
Yusuke- Hey, Kurama, let's go share a cigarette  
  
Kurama- Finally!  
  
Director- Nobody's going anywhere until we finish this scene!!  
  
Kuwabara- This sucks  
  
Hiei- Can I take a nap?  
  
Director- Shut up!! Places!! Action!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jin, the wind master  
  
Jin- IthoughtIwascrazy,Urameshi,butyoutakehteprize,thehellwiththat!Youdon'tmakebo mbsgoboominyourface!!!!  
  
Yusuke- What the hell did you just say?  
  
Tokay- *laughs*  
  
Samuze- Isn't Jin a cutie?  
  
Bookai- What did he say? I couldn't understand....  
  
Director- CUT!!  
  
Hiei- This stupid forcefeild thing is giving me a headache  
  
Kurama- *lights up a ciggarette* Ah, good old nicatinne  
  
Director- Put out that cigarette!! Now let's get this scene going!!  
  
Hiei- I need to take a pee  
  
Yusuke- I need to take a dump  
  
Director- Fine! Ten minute break! Kurama, you can smoke your lungs out, Hiei, you take that pee, and Yusuke, don't forget to wipe!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Cut episodes (too freaky for anyone to see)  
  
Toguro's weak point  
  
Toguro- Yes, 30% of my strength should be more than enough  
  
Butterfly- *sits on flower*  
  
Toguro- EEEYAAAAH!!!! *slams fist into butterfly* . . . AAAAAAA MY HAND!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Bookai- well, that's it for now! Ehe ^^; 


	2. chaper two I guess?

Bookai- well, peeps, you wanted it, so you got it! Here's some more!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
More cut episodes, too freaky to show on TV  
  
-continued from Toguro's weak point-  
  
Toguro- AAAAA, my hand!!! Its.... It's..... BLEEDING!!!!!! *starts crying*  
  
Hiei- That was weak, Toguro  
  
Kurama- *shaking from nicatinne emptiness* Hey, director person, can I have a smoke??  
  
Butterfly- *flies away unharmed*  
  
Toguro- *starts crying loudly* AAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Bee- *lands on flower and sits there*  
  
Toguro- Perhaps twenty percent..... *hits bee and explodes* AAAAAAAAAA  
  
Samuze- uh huh...... 0-0;  
  
Bookai- Man, he's a wussy  
  
Tokay- Tell me about it...  
  
Director- CUT!!!! Toguro? Hey, where's Toguro?  
  
Hiei- *looks at a pile of ash* I think he's dead  
  
Director- Toguro can't die!! Not until Yusuke kills him!!  
  
Yusuke- Looks like my work here is done.  
  
Hiei- He went down with just one sting....  
  
Kurama- Just comes to show you how much cigarettes I can't bum from him....  
  
Director- Looks like we'll have to do more tryouts...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The beast within  
  
Kuwabara- Hey, did you take that medicine stuff?  
  
Kurama- Actually I took some a few minutes ago  
  
Yusuke- What?? You took one of my cigarettes?? How could you, Kurama!! *sniffs* they were mine.... *starts bawling like a baby*  
  
Hiei- *stares* Yusuke, you wimp  
  
Yusuke- You're the wimp, you nose picking fool!!  
  
Hiei- I don't pick my nose!!  
  
Kurama- Hiei, look down  
  
Hiei- *looks down to find himself picking his nose* Oh....  
  
Kurama- I rest my case  
  
Yusuke- Goes to show you how far you'll go to find gold  
  
Director- CUT!!!!  
  
Tokay- You guys did a great job!! ^^  
  
Bookai- MINE!!!  
  
Samuze- what are you talking about?  
  
Bookai- The soda's mine  
  
Tokay- You took it from me, you idiot!!  
  
Bookai- No I didn't!  
  
Samuze- Yeah, 'cause she took it from me!!!  
  
Samuze & Tokay- *tackle Bookai*  
  
Kurama- Hey, that was my soda. *tackles the girls*  
  
Tokay- AAAA, Kurama, that's not a tickle spot!!  
  
Bookai- Someone's elbowing my butt!!  
  
Hiei- I think I'll join 'em. *tackles the four*  
  
Yusuke- Hey, I wanna join!! *tackles Hiei, Kurama, Tokay, Bookai, and Samuze*  
  
Director- BREAK IT UP, YOU ALL!!!!!!!  
  
Yusuke- NEVER!!!  
  
Director- I really need a vacation.....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The begining of the end  
  
Hiei- Tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?  
  
Kuwabara- Actually, it's quite fun. You see, you live in this land, called la la land, and it's really pretty. And the cool thing about it, is that people know you, and you don't even have to talk to them, because they can read your mind!  
  
Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke- *slowly take a step away from Kuawabara*  
  
Director- CUT!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bookai- you know, Kuwabaka's telling the truth, la la land is a really nice place  
  
Samuze- Yeah, 'cause you visit there often  
  
Tokay- No duh!!  
  
Director- please Kuwabaka- I mean, Kuwabara, read your stupid lines!!! Now, action!  
  
Hiei- Tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?  
  
Kuwabara- Fun?  
  
Hiei- *starts picking nose*  
  
Kurama- *slaps hand over face*  
  
Director- CUT!!!!!!! Let's try this again! ACTION!!!  
  
Hiei- Tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?  
  
Kuwabara- I'm gonna pound your head in, you midget!!  
  
Director- *slaps hand over face* Good, Kuwabara, but that wasn't the right line  
  
Kuwabara- Oh really? I'm taking my break now  
  
Director- No, you can't!  
  
Kurama- I think I'll join him  
  
Hiei- Yeah, me too  
  
Director- Places, everyone! We don't have much time!!! Action!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A cut Karasu and Toguro scene  
  
Karasu- Toguro, Toguro, wherefore art thou, Toguro?  
  
Toguro- Oh, Karasu, it is the east, and the sun.....  
  
Director- Wrong lines!! That was Shakespear, not Yu Yu Hakusho!  
  
Toguro- Shakespear's good too  
  
Director- But it's not Yu Yu Hakusho material!!  
  
Toguro- Fine, but your love scene sucks  
  
Director- Action!  
  
Karasu- You know, Yusuke may be a hard person to beat  
  
Toguro- I don't care, Karasu, because as long as you're there, I'll win!  
  
Karasu- Oh Toguro, I love you!  
  
Toguro- I love you too, Karasu!! *kisses Karasu*  
  
Director- *stares blankely* What was that?!  
  
Karasu- You like it? We made it up ourselves! *blushes*  
  
Director- NO!!!I hated it!! Karasu and Toguro are not gay!!  
  
Tokay- They aren't?  
  
Bookai- But I thought...  
  
Samuze- Hey, director person, Toguro and Karasu are gay!! Duh, everyone knows that, right?  
  
Everyone- Yeah!! *start auplauding*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Bookai- well, that's all I could think of for now, just give me until Monday to get something newer and funnier!!!! Thank you all for being so kind!!! 


	3. hopefully chapter three

Okay people, just like to say thanks for reviewing and here's the chapter you've all been waiting for  
  
Genbu, The Stone Beast  
  
Kurama- ROSE WHIP!!! *remember, this is the first time Kurama brings out the rose whip*  
  
Koenma- *from office, watches Kurama surrounded by pedals* So beautiful... *drools*  
  
Ogre- uh, sir?  
  
Koenma- *jumps on screen and starts licking it*  
  
Director- Not again! CUT!!!  
  
Kurama- Was he drooling over me again?!  
  
Karasu- Who could resist? *steps closer*  
  
Kurama- *chucks a beer can at his head* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Yusuke- *opens the door to Genbu's lair* Ladies first.  
  
Hiei- Go right in, Kurama!! *grins*  
  
Kurama- Hey! Why does everyone make fun of my girlish looks?!  
  
Yusuke- 'Cause you look like a girl! *laughs*  
  
Kurama- Am I a pretty girl? *flutters eye lashes*  
  
Yusuke- *sweat drop* Yeah, you're a pretty girl. *everyone stares at him*  
  
Director- cut....  
  
Kurama- I'm a pretty girl!! *dances*  
  
Director- cut....  
  
Hiei- Not that pretty  
  
Director- Cut....  
  
Kurama- You're no prize yourself!  
  
Director- Cut  
  
Hiei- Shut up, woman!  
  
Kurama- *gasps* Don't call me that! *gasps again* All this yelling is giving me wrinkles!! *runs* I need a smoke!!  
  
Director- CUT!  
  
Yusuke- *mutters* All that smoking is giving him wrinkles...  
  
Hiei- *nods* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *Kurama slices Genbu to pieces and grabs the red rock thing. Genbu puts himself together the wrong way*  
  
Yusuke- Hey, where's the head?  
  
*everyone notices Genbu's headless body*  
  
Yusuke- Isn't his head supposed to be where his... er.... Yeah is? Then we all laugh.  
  
*they all look around*  
  
Hiei- Ah-hah *points at Kuwabara*  
  
*Kuwabara is holding Genbu's head*  
  
Kuwabara- So, do you wanna go to the movies sometime?  
  
Hiei- *twitch, twitch* Kuwabara and Genbu?  
  
Genbu- I'd love to go with you, my love! *flutters eyes*  
  
Kurama- *uses rose whip to crush Genbu's head* I win! Victory is mine!  
  
Kuwabara- I could've won if you would have let me finish seducing him.  
  
Yusuke- Kuwabara, you couldn't seduce your pet cat.  
  
Kuwabara- Yes I can!  
  
Director- CUT!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~* (During their ten minute break) Kurama- I'm gonna try to stop smoking *puts nicotine patches all over body*  
  
Kuwabara- Does anyone want cookies?  
  
Hiei- I want chocolate chip!!  
  
Keiko- I don't know.... Is that good for my diet?  
  
Kuwabara- Of course!  
  
Keiko- Then I'll have some!  
  
Kuwabara- What about you, Yusuke?  
  
Yusuke- AAAAA!! WHERE'S ALL THE COOKIES?!  
  
Hiei- *singing* Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?  
  
Kurama- Toguro stole the cookies from the cookie jar  
  
Toguro- Who me?  
  
All- Yes you  
  
Toguro- Couldn't be  
  
All- Then who?  
  
Yusuke- Hiei stole the cookies from the cookie jar! *continues the song*  
  
Genkai- *sweat drop* *stuffs cookies into mouth* Dim wits... *all look at Genkai* Keiko- Genkai stole the cookies from the cookie jar!  
  
Genkai- *sighs, stuffs another cookie into mouth* Who me?  
  
All- Yes you  
  
Genkai- Couldn't be! *eats another cookie*  
  
All- Then who? ~*~*~*~*~*~ Hope you like, it's not very long but chalk full of junk! Well, yeah..... 


	4. Is it truely chapter four?

Bookai- I know I haven't written in a LONG time, so sorry, my loving viewers... eheh... Let's just say I've been pretty busy, but now I've got some new ideas, and I hope you'll love it! Please review!

Disclaimer- Once again, peoples, I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, but I'll have to raise a lot of money and buy it from Yoshihiro Togashi, and then I'll make a Yu Yu Two, but until then, This is my disclaimer.

Jin, The Wind Master ('scuze for the dialog, but I left the script in my car and I'm too lazy to go get it)

(after the huge explosion caused by Yusuke shooting the spirit gun point blank into Jin's tornado)

Hiei- He's a shinobi, and he's more experienced. You can't just pull a trick like that and expect him to be stupid and not protect himself. You have to think of a better way to win.

Yusuke- Hey, c'mon, it's Yusuke here. I don't have a clue!

Hiei- Heh, well, even a fool can admit a certain truth to that. So go ahead and be as reckless as you want. If you die, I'll be taking your computer.

Yusuke- Wait, what?

Stupid "nurse" lady with the dumb vines as clothes- Oh, c'mon, Hiei, even if you do manage to get through my forcefield, I'm taking his computer, so hands off!

Yusuke- NO ONE'S TAKING MY COMPUTER!

Hiei- damn...

Jin- Yeah,Urameshi,thatcomputerbelongstome,I'mtheonewhogaveittoyouinthefirstplace,soifanyonegetsit,it'llbeme!

Yusuke- Can somebody please translate for me?

Director- CUT!

Kurama- Damn you, Yusuke! If you keep messing up like this, I'll neer be able to go to the store and get my smokes!

Yusuke- It was Hiei who messed up! He threw in that stupid computer line!

Kurama- I'm not gonna be mad at Hiei, Yusuke, you know how I feel about him!

Kuwabara- No WAY! Kurama likes Hiei!

Yusuke- No, stupid! Kurama uses Hiei for money for cigarettes!

Hiei- What...? sniffle

Kurama- YUSUKE!

Yusuke- oops... sorry

Director- CUT, DAMN YOU!

Hiei- BODY SLAM OF THE MORTAL FLAME! ( -- random)

The Dark Tournament Begins(on the boat) --DELETED SCENE--

Hiei- standing on railing (for some odd reason)

Kurama- not smoking, leaning on the rail next to Hiei

Hiei- Go away, Kurama.

Kurama- I'd rather not

Hiei- Hn.

Kurama- Do you realize how easily I could throw you over the side of this boat?

Hiei- Try me.

Kurama- Fine. grabs onto Hiei's legs to push him over

Hiei- jumps and kicks Kurama over the edge

Kurama- falls into the water AAAA!

Hiei- Told ya, you smart ass!

Yusuke- Oh, no! Kurama! dives into the water

Kuwabara- looks over the edge Do you think they know there are sharks down there?

Hiei- How 'bout you go save them pushes Kuwabara over the edge heh heh...

(Behind the scenes)

Yusuke- finds the spirit looking glass (you know, that thing that can see through stuff) I wonder if this really works... looks into it, at Kurama WOAH, Kurama!

Kurama- What, Yusuke? he's smoking again

Yusuke- Nothing... nothing at all... sweatdrop looks elsewhere into the glass thing

Hiei- walks by Yusuke

Yusuke- AAAA! falls over

Hiei- What?

Yusuke- Geez, Hiei... that cloak sure hides a lot... and I mean... a LOT

Hiei- What! glares

Yusuke- Uh... nothing...

Hiei- walks away whatever...

Bookai- Okay, that's it, I guess. I promise I'll get back to writing as soon as I can! But just to hold you over for a while, I'll put a mental picture in your head. Hiei streaking, yes streaking, butt naked. But it doesn't matter because he can run so fast you wouldn't be able to tell if he was naked or wearing tan pants. Review please! Peace!


	5. fantastic five! wooo! not

Hello again! Ehe... sorry about that last chapter, I kinda forgot about something funny I was gonna add to it, so yeah. And thank you all so much for reviewing, that's the reason I love writing this in the first place! keep reviewing, and I'll keep adding! So now I'm gonna do a short chapter, but I'm sure you'll enjoy it

Disclaimer- I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, but one day I hope to own John Burgmeier, Chuck Huber, and Justin Cook. tee hee

Gouki and Kurama (the alternate ending)

Kurama- Forlorn hope, grant me my wish, show me my greatest desire so that it may be fulfilled.

Yusuke- Wait, Kurama! Think about it! If you lose your life--

Forlorn hope- shows a picture of Hiei naked The nudity of this man, is that what you desire?

Kurama- uh.. n-no! The... other desire...

Yusuke- sweatdrop

Forlorn hope- shows Kurama's mom The happiness of this woman, is this what you desire?

Kurama- sighs out of relief yes...

Yusuke- Hold on, Kurama!

Forlorn Hope- in order for this desire to be fulfilled, you must give your life. Is this what you desire?

Kurama- If it'll save my human mother, then yes.

Forlorn hope- Then your desire shall be fulfilled.starts zapping Kurama

Yusuke- Hey, stupid forlorn hope guy! Don't take Kurama's life! I've seen a mother cry over the death of her son once before and I don't want to see it again!

Kurama- what are you doing, Yusuke? This is my desire.

Forlorn hope- the desire shall be granted.

-- huge blast of light--

Kurama- wakes up I'm still alive...? But what about my mother? runs away goes into the hospital Mother?

Doctor- I'm sorry, Shuichi, your mother didn't make it...

Kurama- gasp

Doctor- ... but some naked guy just fell out of nowhere... sweatdrop

Kurama- Hiei!

Doctor- yeah...

Kurama- runs to Hiei's naked side

Hiei- Why am I here? I was just taking a nap, and...

Kurama- Oh I'm so happy! hugs Hiei

Hiei- AAAAAA!

So yeah, that's my short chapter. If you have any suggestions on episodes you'd like to see massacred by me ; then just review and let me know. See ya


End file.
